Monday, October 18, 2010

fone footy 3.


I pretty much spend the second half of my day putting this together. It was all just stuff i filmed on my fone during the past 6 months about. well, hope you enjoy it!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Why I stopped writing(as much).


Its not that I ran out of topics,
its not that I have nothing to say,
Its not that I don't enjoy this process.
cause I do.

I'm really fascinated by how selfish we are by nature. Its society that asks us to not be so self centered and give a shit about each other. that's kinda dark right? okay next topic.

I never feel like discussing bummer topics with people I don't really know. The people I do know however don't want to be discussing bummer topics. Take death for example, what a downer of a subject that is. Is there anyone out ther who would like to share a theory I haven't heard regarding the after life?

When you hear about death, especially if it was someone you knew, it really affects you. a good friend of mine's older brother who I too called a friend passed away not too long ago. When something like that happens, you really step out of your own world motivated by greed and self improvement and really feel for another person. Not just the person who died but also for the people who where in that person's life.

Even when you're a parent and you love your children, you are seeing your children as an extention of yourself. thats why its such a crushing revelation when they grow up and you need to accept that they are their own person. atleast that how I'd imagine it.

I havent wrote on this blog in so long i forgot what i normally write about... i think its ussually girls, fashion and skateboarding. Death can be a side note. it something we all have in common.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Perceived value.



We all have a perceived value in our heads. This little price tag we place on ourselves to sub consciously evaluate ourselves relative to the world and all those around us. Of coarse the truth is, no one is ACTUALLY more valued then another person, however a perceived value can have a profound impact on how you treat others and are treated yourself.

For example. Let's examine the phenomena of celebrity. Out of the context of America, say.. A dessert island, for argument sake, Brad Pitt is no better then you. In the States the same is true, but why is it that people here will treat him better? Fame is, a complete construct of society and in essences isn't real, however it's affects are very real and can be felt in a room. Have you ever been in the same room as someone you look up to? It's like the air is thicker.

So have you ever wanted to be famous? I think being famous gets so much shit that people forgot it can be kinda fun. Yeah, there's all the paparazzi and stalkers and whatever but this only apply to the uber famous/elite. Generally in fame, those around you simply treat you better. That's not all that bad is it? I'm suggesting, a modest level of fame can be pleasurable.

Wrap your mind around this. We can all be famous. All we need to do is systematically upload evidence to those around us of our success and persona thus putting our best foot forward and displaying our character in the best light. Say smart shit, do awesome stuff, lay hot babes whatever. World wide global super-star fame is overrated. All you need are your friends to know you're awesome. What do you need people you're never gonna meet in you life to think you're awesome for?

And by being awesome, I really mean BE AWESOME. It's not just tricking people or being manipulative. It's actually pulling through for yourself and doing what's best for your own survival. It's not being a total herb. This is the birth place of true inner confidence. It's a lot easier to be confident when you have evidence supporting it. 

To summarize this whole micro article on social value.. It's all in you head; whose better then who, but at the same time it's very real. You're not gonna feel nervous around a bum the way you may feel standing next to the president. Social hierarchies are very much real. As much as we hate it, we are inevitably in a cast system.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Alcohol [part 2]


this is [part 1].

This stuff just grosses me out. It tastes nasty, I don't know why anyone would drink it for fun. I suppose it's the out come of it all. When a whole room of people are drunk, it's as if social norms and rules get thrown into a washing machine and comes out all mangled. It's really rolling the dice on what could happened and what was gonna happen any way.

Sometimes dudes (like myself) get it into our heads like that they have more game talking to a girl when they're drunk. I'd agree that it could make the approach easier, but if you're really hammered, you not gonna be saying many things of substance. Don't treat alcohol like some sort of shield for your insecurities. If you have a hard time getting out of your shell, drinking may get you out of it, but let's hope you don't become dependent.

I like to drink. I think it's really fun. I'm smart about it though. I treat alcohol like cake. How often do I have cake? Once in a while on special occasions. Exactly. So that being said, I can continue to promote this particular poison.

Following up on the first part of this story, I didn't drink or smoke or do anything after that incident with the wine. All though high school the thought of alcohol grossed me out and I stayed away from it. It was only until my first year of college in California that I gave it another go.

I can remember the first occasion I drank out there, but this time, it was fun. When I was drunk it was awesome! It all sorta started when I went out with friends to parties. I didn't know why at the time, but whenever I was drunk, I could just rule a room. It was like, I thought out loud, and everybody would just listen to me. I indulged in being the center of attention. I would stand on a chair and start philosophizing on how eating a grapefruit was a lot like going to war(if you see me in person, be sure to ask me about that).

That's the truth, I love having people listen to me. It's no secret. most people would like to have people listen to them. Alcohol just helped me realize that. It's one of the things in life that I just really get off on. Oh my god, now I'm spilling my guts all over the world wide web. Good thing I'm not alone in this department.

I mean, eventually I learned to be equally as interesting when I'm not drunk as when drunk. Alcohol gave me this.. Extra charisma that I needed at the time. Now I feel like I can deal without it. It's like cake.

Monday, June 28, 2010

chillen hard.


The Oxymoron of the summer of 2010. So basically, I've been chillen hard as of late. But that doesnt mean alot hasnt been on my minds. For example. WTF is happening over in North Korea? I hear some fucked up shit!

I heard that the Dictator guy(kim jong il) is pretty much the worst dude next to Hitlet. I heard he has a problem with short people, so he send'em off to some island were they will probably...get all 'lord of the Flies' on.

Even worst, he controls the schools and media! His people are taught to beleive he is God and has the power to control weather and never poo!

North Korea, is a backwards place.

...

So now I've provided you with a breif Current Events run down. This summer, do me a favor, and.. "Gouge your eyes out with fun!"


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

PORN



Porn is cool. I just masterbated and I have come to the conclusion that porn, is awesome. If you're a dude, and don't think porn is cool, there's something wrong with you. Seriously, I don't think we're gonna get along if you don't think porn is the bomb! dot com!

If this topic is too much for you to handle, get a life. Girls, don't act like you've never given a blow job. We're all human, get real.

Porn is cool for soo many reasons. I was watching the MTV movie awards earlier today and when Jessica Alba came on, my friend was like "I'd fuck the shit out of her". I thought, good thing you could touch yourself!

Porn is crazy. How many of these paragraphs are gonna start with "porn"? Porn is soo crazy. What we're really doing when us dude are joikin' it, is living vicariously through others. We are experiencing moments in anothers life we may never live. For example, I most likely will never fuck Brianna Banks, however, my boy Lex Steele got all up in that, so I'm gonna live vicariously through him as I picture myself in his place. Get what I'm saying?

Porn is like... A billion dollar industry! And for good reason, it totally brings the rape count down and provides me and most normal guys an activity to perform when we get bored/are alone in the house/have blue balls etc.

I'm not gonna list reason why porn is awesome, it just is. Even if you have a girlfriend/fuck buddy or something, nothing is quiet as personal as you on yourself. No one knows the exact rhythm and pace quiet like you know yourself. And for all you virgins.. It gives you a general idea of what happeneds, when and if you do ever get it in for the first time.

If you don't think porn is awesome.. If you don't think porn is awesome, okay, I'll give you a list.

If you dont think porn is awesome, you're probably...
..too pretentious to admit you watch it.
..not a properly functional man.
..don't have a dick.
..using your imagination when you rub one out.
..don't have a computer.
..and the list goes on..

I won't even feel comfortable talking to you if you don't like porn. On the flip side, if you like porn too much.. I probably wouldn't feel comfortable talking to you either. But I think when guys can discuss porn and jerkin off and shit, it really says he's comfortable with himself and being around others. I think it's like a social code or something...

..your a cool mother-fucker if I can chat about porn n shit with you.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

cigarettes.[part 3]


I'm supposed to do a follow up to this little peice.. Fuck it I don't have to do anything for anybody!

And that's exactly how cigarettes make me feel. Fuck it. Fuck you. Judge me in your little brain, the fuck do I care. I feel this way for a good 10 to 15 minutes.. Before I snap back to reality and realize there's shit on the line and it's gonna hit the fan if I don't do anything about it. I'm guessing I might not be alone in this response to smoking? Do you get what I'm saying? Fuck it, go have a smoke.

There was a good episode of south park that kinda summed it up. Look it up I guess. When I smoke, i just feel like melting into a comfy arm chair and shooting the shit with some intellegent company. That's the best..

Welcome to flavor country.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

just My Type: Katy Perry



These are some of my Fave Katy P. pix. I adore her, Shes really quiet the gem. I would Describe katy as... a Far more commercial Zooey Deschanel plus huge boobs. not to say I necessarily favor her over Zooey, to be rather frank, they're nothing alike and two completely different cups of tea.



I mean, Katy must be a babe! Its really no question. She is after all the wife to be of on of my favored humans Russell Brand. Knowing that she is the future Mrs. Brand only make me love her more. Whats not to love about her 40s pin-up girl look! For fuck sake the girl can dress up like a strawberry and still look mega fine!

Have you heard that new song? "California Girls", is it called? shes deffs my favorite of the poppy bunch. and yes, I enjoy pop music. whatever. So what if she kissed a girl and liked it? Isn't that ultra hot?!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Quality problems.


The way I see it, everybody has problems. it's unavoidable. People often get this idea into their head that if they aquire this, this and that(add in money, women, cars whatever),they will be definitively happy. when you get older you realize thats not/never the case.

life is a series of problems and challenges and solving one will only create another. But you know what? its not as much of a downer as you would think. Fortunately, some problems are better then others. Let me throw a few examples your way.

Would you rather be arguing with your girlfriend over not spending enough time with each other or lonely with no one in your life? Another example, would you rather be poor and starving or have trouble deciding which sports car you wish to purchase?

Its obvious that some problems we'd prefer to have over others. Given that our problems are in reference to our lives, shouldn't we be more conscious of whether we are dealing with quality problems or not? Quality problems AKA the American dream. Its our progressive nature that I think we should all encourage to reach higher, go longer and live better.

Quality problems, or better put, Mo' money mo' problems.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

WESC


Approximately 2 weeks ago I began an internship at WESC(we are the superlative conspiracy) and I'm really enjoying it. I've been learning just soo much all while really getting a feel for the corporate world. I'm a big fan of the brand and am excited to be part of it. the internship is going well, though there was a particular assignment that will always stick out in my mind. The guy I'm working for, Adam, he gave me this shopping bag, filled to the top with business cards, he got me a binder with card slots, and he told me, to organize every car in alphabetical order. Jesus that was pain full.

If its a brand you aren't familiar with, get familiar with it, cause its gonna be around for a while.


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Self help.

I'm always looking to improve myself, absorbing information everywhere I go, figuring out the things I see. The people I enjoy the most are the ones who enrich my life with their own learnings. You're never too old to keep learning, that's something my dad always says. Hes a pretty old dude, but his mind is still sharp.

Sometimes you'll meet someone who's ashamed to learn. Someone who wants to carry the illusion that they know it all and there isn't much left to learn. I'm more the type that'll swallow my pride and dive head first into something if I really feel passionate about it. I adore constructive criticism. To me, this brings up the subject of strength. Though its an entirely different ball of wax, I believe strength isn't when you decide you are a certain way and stick to it, but instead when you have an opinion and defend it and when faced with over whelming evidence, you may reconsider your views.

I'm still young enough right now to where I can shamelessly learn about whatever and make mistakes here and there. I would hope by the next decade, when I'm 30, I'd be able to minimize this margin of error and come as close to perfection as I can be. Couldn't you imagine it being embarrassing to be 30 and still not know how to drive a car? Just throwing that out there as an example.

But at the core of what I'm saying.. We shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed to seek information and knowledge. We have the Internet at our finger tips and a whole universe to learn about. We shouldn't be ashamed to be actively searching for ways to better ourselves. I wish we'd all agree to get our heads out off our asses and just do what we need to do to improve ourselves! I started pondering all this when I realized being in the self help section of a bookstore was slightly taboo and embarrassing. I don't feel like it should be that way.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Your mondane life.


We all live a mondane life. Of coarse you don't think it's mondane, but when I have to listen to it, I could hardly stay awake. Just kidding! I'm a great listener.

But really, getting people to give a fuck about what you say is an art form! One way I've been exploring for the past few months is blogging. Look at you! Reading my bullshit and loving it! Well. You might not be loving it but you're sure not gonna stop reading cause I said that!

Anyway, you wouldn't be reading this now if you didn't find any of the past posts interesting. I had to flick you on the forehead a few times and shock you with commentary on taboo topics before I could get you hooked. Less of coarse you're a completely new reader, in which case, hello.

Text is one thing, but verbal presentation is a complete other. I love telling a story. But not everyone has the attention span to completely listen. That's where this bit of advice comes in..

..learn. To speak. Slooow. And. Every so often. Just throw.. Periods. Into your. Sentences, where they... Wouldn't normally be. It's pretty.. Annoying to read.. Via text. However, in your. Day to day. This could make your.. Mondane.. Boring.. Life-saga seem.. Almost captivating. If you think you're.. Nice with it.. Throw random.. Punctuations.. In to your. Sentences.. It might make things more.. Interesting? It's pretty.. Funny when you add.. Question marks? It's makes thing.. Awkwardly funny? Yeah. Just be sure.. To leave... Your words.. Hanging...

I know that was annoying, but I swear it works! When you speak slower, it conveys confidence and your message is more clear. Plus it give you more time to think. All those mental blanks that come up, when you're talking to people, it's cause you depend to heavily on content. Don't worry about what you're saying, just say it slow.. Drag it out.. Worrrrd.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fone footy




A copilation of stuff i shot of my Phone durring the past few months.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Alcohol [part 1]




A long time ago before I knew anything about anything.. As if I know shit now.. I used to think getting drunk from alcohol was a myth. Like, I seriously thought this. I actually believed that people never really got drunk and when they would act drunk it was just cause they where retarded! Can you believe what a shit head I was? I must of been like 13 When I still thought this. I really didn't stop believing this till the year after..

The following year, my family had decided it was time to move away from my beloved home town of fresh meadows in Queens. It meant that I would no longer be a stones throw from the childhood buddies I had known since my adolescence and had grown quite fond of. I had just started high school and I was commuting to the city, I had not yet made many friends so I felt a great comfort in going home and seeing my old chums.

I'm sure everyone can for the most part relate to friends you grow up and away from. This is a story for them. The story of the night that I almost died. Seriously.

In this little neighborhood, a great friend from my past, his name was Nik, he always took pride in spelling his name that way. He worked in the neighborhood drug store. He had known for sometime now that I was moving away and it was a sorta depressing thing for me and everyone else in my life at the time. So this particular night, we did something crazy, crazy for 14 year old newly pubescent boys.

At this neighborhood drug store that Nik worked at, Nik's boss, an old guy, gave Nik the task of disposing of some old wine that he no longer wanted. Being the deviant Nik was, he decided to store the several bottles of wine behind the dumpster.

After work nik told me about this plot and to stick around a while. Me and him where truly the original porch monkeys, we used to sit outside his stoop and bullshit the day away. Fond memories..

Another good pal of mine was there that night too. His name is Derek, I love this guy, we still keep in touch, and chill every now and then when he's back from college upstate. We would typically bond over the injustice of being a minority, me being Asian and him being black.. We would talk about that and girls. Jeez, this is turning into a trip down memory lane..

Ok, so it's me, Nik and Derek, and we all decide to start drinking. It's evening at this point, about 9ish.. There are several bottles of wine, red wine. Nik brings out 3 bottle from behind the dumpster and brings it over to his place which is just on the other side of this parking lot, real close.

We pour the wine into these tall glasses, you know the kind you take a chug of water from on a hot summer day? Yeah, we filled it to the top, said cheers and bottoms up! Boy did I think that taste was awful! So awful in fact that, this was the first time I learned of the concept of using a chaser. Chasing alcohol down with a better tasting beverage.

I wasn't sure if Nik had drank before this night, he probably had but being the teenager he was, he was still probably a shit head. That didn't hold him back from playing the big brother in the entire ordeal. I actually appreciated it. He anticipated that me and Derek might not like the taste so he brought iced tea for us to chase it down.

I was skateboarding at this point and in between every drink I would do a kickflip. It was easy, I still didn't believe I could get drunk. It wasn't until we finished the 3 bottles before I started noticing it. Nik told me to go get more behind the dumpster. I then began to walk across the parking lot.

Half way through the empty parking lot, right in the middle, I fell to the floor.

This wasn't bad, I was really happy. I just lied on the floor for however long I needed to, stares up at the street lamps and got up when I was ready. I come back with a few more bottles and we continue drinking.

There was a point where I went completely insane. I walked on top a moving car. Ok, maybe it was parked by I stood on it. I stood on it and screamed. I was drunk, for the first time in my life.

I only lived 3 blocks away, but Jesus. 3 block have and will never be as long as they where that night. Derek and I, equally hammered, stumbled to my home. We undoubtedly had way too much to drink.

We were almost there, but then.. He fell to the ground, he fell into someones lawn. He was asleep, I wasn't sure. I tried, no, I didn't try to help him.. But I wanted to. I gestured toward him and then it happened, I started to vomit. I was too young and naive to know what to do, it haunts me till this day the actions I took. Derek got sick, passed out on someones lawn and was picked up by cops and brought home. He didn't want to speak to me after that night, and his mother didn't want him seeing me.

I stormed into my home and had no time for explanation. My mom came in and saw how I was. It made her cry. I was in so much pain, I vomited everything in me till I could no more, and even then I would gag reflex. The notion of ever eating again felt so foreign. Till this day, I probably have never been that trashed.

The next day my father was watching me vomit into a bag. I was pale and sickly. He had a sorta sense of humor about it. He saw what I was in and didn't bother to punish me, the hangover was plenty punishment already.. I wouldn't touch alcohol for the next 4 years..

And Derek.. Eventually I got my friend back.

To be continued..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

just My Type: Marie Mccray


I just thought you guys should know how rare these photos where. Its pretty hard finding photos of this girl without a dick in her mouth or a face dripping with cum. That is of coarse because shes a porn star! I don' really know if shes a stylish girl or not, these outfits of hers could very well just be costume. what does it matter? a real man only need a woman to be naked, the only outfit that matters!
Shes not just any porn star, well, I mean, she is, but shes deffs too cute to be doing anal sex or any other dirty shit. Shes a lucky one, in the heirarchy of Porn. if you notice, all the cute girls will only do vaginal and the occassional blow job mean while the less desirables you'll see getting DP'd in a gang bang!

She doesnt even need to be a porn star, I could see her on day time television or something... or as my girlfriend making me a sandwhich in her undies... shes so cute, I'd probly date her and still have her do porn, that'd actually be pretty cool! talk about life experiences..

Lets keep this site classy and leave it at that. though I highly recommend you Google her ASAP...then youjizz.com her..

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Simple things.

Simple ways to be a better person:

-Start fewer of your sentences with 'I'. You'd be surprised how much you talk about yourself in ratio to how much people care.

-Hang out with "day time" people. They tend to be more responsible and make the world go round. They're the ones you see at parties and say "I don't see you at parties often!" in your drunken stupor.

-When someone asks you, what do u like to do, have a badass answer. "I hunt serial killers."

-Get into a routine to prove you are capable of routine then break the routine and make a new one.

-Stay/get in shape, there's no reason to be fat.

-smoke pot once In a while, it really opens up your mind. If your smoking everyday, that could be a bit much.

-pay attention to pop culture, just a little. Thing about it is that it's popular which means a lot of people pay attention to It. I'm guessing you might be happier if you like the people you're put on this planet with. Knowing to make small talk about celebrities really helps.

-Take an improv or acting class. I've never done this though I hear it teaches you to be more confident and hold your own socially.

-Believe in something when you die, anything. It could be an existing religious faith or made up off the top of your head. When I die, I'll be a tree, a happy tree, till I get cut down.. Then I'll be a happy toothpick!

-Keep your downer comments to yourself, save it for Downer discussions with other friends when they're down too. Misery loves company.


Saturday, May 8, 2010

DEAR BITCH-BOY,

I read one of your faggy posts last week and fuck yo, you're a fucking fag! Like seriously? Gay best friend? Just come outta the closet already! Why can't you just say it! We all know you want dick in your mouth!

Jesus Christ! You're such a know it all yuppy! Pompusly giving advice to the world as if you're some sorta messiah, you're FUCKING 20! It wasn't very long ago you got the privilage to buy ciggarettes. You're just a jaded fucking hipster fucking BITCH BOY!

And another thing! You're fucking unoriginal and a total rip off of that boy crazy site. You're a fag. You should take over that site cause we all know you're boy crazy. You should go fulfil you're dream and suck Dylan Rieders dick! You prissy fag!

Fuck you,
Eli Reed

In response :

Goodness Eli, I had no idea you felt strongly about me.. To be honest you calling me bitch boy in all caps got me rather excited. Hope to hear from you again soon<3

If any one else would like to send me some more fan mail, reassuring me of my brilliance as dear Eli has done, please feel free.

E-mail : Givertotheworld@yahoo.com

Gif. courtesy of Evan Borja.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Alone at a party...




We've all been there, assuming you have let's open with this..

Why is it that people text to make themselves look important at parties/or any awkward situation? We've all seen it/done it. Why do we need that sort of gratification? Why must we appear to other like were above what's goin on here and should be "over there" having a way better time? And most of all, who the fuck cares?

I'm asking a bunch of questions I know the answers to. Of course we want to feel important. Of coarse being alone sucks, though a lot of us deny ever feeling alone.

I have a better word for being alone. I call it being lonely, the two are different you know? You could want to be alone, privacy is nice right? But I don't think anyone wants to feel lonely. Lonelyness is a type of pain I suppose. That's why we try to cover it up with bullshit texting to a signifegent other or friend who is absent.

I was never for this sorta cover up. Anyone who knows me can see I'm not a big texter. Though I do write alot of these posts on my phone so that could be seen/taken in the same way. Whatever.

So next time you're at a party and, you don't know/like any body.. Or it could be all dudes.. Or like, there's an awkward mix of heads.. Or everyone there is ugly or something.. There are 2 things I would say to do.

One, you could really step out of your shell and make some connections. You could stop being that shallow empty person I know deep down you are and talk to someone you normally wouldn't talk to.. Note: someone being ugly is not a good reason to avoid them. It means your an ugly gross person on the inside and it will be that much harder for you to find people that will truely love you for you. Fuck you, I already hate you.

And the other is.. Just dip. Leave the party. Don't be rude and standoffish, just be like, hey, It was nice meeting you blah blah blah, I had fun(even though you clearly didn't, I don't think you will be punished for this sorta lie) and get going. There will be another party. I didn't beleive this at first but have come to accept it as a fact.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Girls


Girls are really such delicate things, you guys need to remember that. Not that you should watch everything you say with a fine tooth comb, but to consider how she might feel is a no brainer.

Girls want to laugh, have a good time, want to feel safe and protected. Every girl is different, though I feel like these things are general enough to apply. And another thing, no girl wants to feel "general" either. So when a certain lady is special, let that be known. But never say it if you don't mean it, never lie, cause eventually she will see you for who you really are and that will set back your friendship.

This could really apply to a number of situations. This is my rule of thumb when it comes to girls but never a template. Every girl is different.

One time I met a girl that was really not havin it with me. I was probably the antithesis of what she was attracted too. I think she was into burly lumber Jack wolverine types that can sprout a full beard on command. I thought this was funny.

Also, always have a sense of humor about things, in any situation. This is some life advice. Be able to laugh about the bad times and not take yourself too seriously. Something I'm often times guilty of.

I hope I made your day better!
Smile! won't you?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

cigarettes.[part 2]

from [part 1]
The first time I ever thought cigarette where cool was when... they where always cool. You don't always like whats cool, sometimes you're a square/sissy boy like me who follows the rules. Cigarettes have always been symbolically linked to cool, you can thank Holly Wood for that one. Any Wes Anderson jump off, you're gonna have cool characters smoking.

Okay, now I remember when cigarettes became cool(in my world anyway). It was this movie that was too indie for your life, so indie it might as well not exist, its THAT indie. .. well. not that indie, if it had some big stars in it. I am of coarse talking about Coffee and Cigarettes.

The first time I heard about this movie was around the beginning of high school. My best friend Evan was telling about this boring black and white movie with people sitting around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes that his older brother Ceasar was watching with his friends. Fast forward a few years later to when I'm 18. I am in California at a friends house deciding what movie we would watch for the evening. I am blown away by the selection of off-beat hipster films readily available in this vast library of awesome. some usual suspects; Pulp Fiction, Blue Velvet etc.

I'm browsing through the shelves and shelves of movies when I come upon a copie of Coffee and Cigarettes. I pick it up and suggest we watch it. I was asked to give a breif synopsys on the film and all I could really come up with was, well, there are people-famous people, smoking cigarettes and chatting over coffee. not exactly the best sell, but i convince the group to watch it anyway.

We start watching it and 15 minute in everyones already bored. But I was super into it. It was intellegent and witty. I would admit its not for everyone, but thats fine right? Be part of a select few that enjoy this work. you'll be that much cooler. I leave you now with one of the finer scenes of the film. The ever timeless Bill Murray's encounter with the Rza and Gza of the Wu tang clan.



To be continued...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Cigarettes.[part 1]



Up until this point in my life, this point meaning the past maybe 2 years, cigarettes have been a really touchy topic for me. See, as a kid growing up in the 90s, elementarty school made it a huge deal to convince me that cigarettes where bad. I deffinently know there bad, that's not what I'm debating.

I'm not really debating, I'm telling a story. So through out my teenage life I hated cigarettes. I hated that my sister smoked, I hated that my brother smoked, I hated when anyone in my life smoked at all. It was really only up until my first year of college when a good friend of mine taught me the joys of smoking.

We actually started smoking together, I think we split a pack or something. I remember I had maybe 5 cigarettes out of that pack at most and he finnished the rest. I slowly witnessed first hand as he built up his addiction. I definitely didn't smoke as much as he did, but whenever I would smoke it was with him. We would always have these great philosophical conversations while having a cigarette, some times just us, other times with company.

Before this point I would be so completely against cigarettes. I used to make such a fuss about it to my now ex girlfriend. It was just one of the things that she did that didn't sit well with me. Every time she would have a cigarette, I felt betrayed. I would beg her to stop, tell her it's because I cared. When I look back now it was just me being young and unable to manage my emotions. I was insecure and felt comfort in controlling what she could and couldn't do. I realize now it was hardly about the cigarettes.

Nowadays I just take everything with a grain of salt. If someone wants a cigarette, it's their choice. It would be an insult to their intelligence if I said they couldn't have one. I mean that's what addiction really is right? It's a test, one that the feeble minded fail time and time again. To say, no, you can not take this challenge, would really be an insult at the core. It's saying, you're not smart enough to understand the risk you're taking. That's a call for a 13 year old's parent to make.

Even now I would never smoke in front/around my parents, it would just break their hearts. I should just quit or something. But to quit would imply that I started and constantly smoke, something I'm slightly in denial of. I'm a light smoker, I'll say that.

What a fun topic, I feel like I have so much more to say on it! Perhaps that is why a part 2 must be in production!

To be continued...

Monday, April 26, 2010

social (dick) climbers.



Attacking the feeble, talentless, short-cut-taking, rim-job-givers of our generation. Something that's been on my to-do list for a while now. Allow me to open with a little story.

Not too long ago, last week even maybe, I went to a party. This was a kinda crazy night. It started around 6 when I got out of class, it was a Friday. I had been invited to a fancy dinner and was wearing a suit. That night also happened to be my sisters birthday, so after the dinner party ended I went with my siblings and company to a bar in the city. I got in using my brothers old ID. Boy that was rad.

So as the night progressed I had a good amount of alcohol in my system. Much more then is safe to drive with. So after spending some time in this bar I decide to leave to head to a friend's house party that I had previously agreed to attend. Normally I would be over it but I wanted to make an appearance for the sake of getting to know some of my newer friends at FIT.

So my brother gives me a ride to my friends apartment where the party is happening. Upon entering I am greeting with great enthusiasm, like I just performed a miracle or something. "Every jonns here!", I am really drunk at this point and all I could think to do is match the hype. I make my round giving high fives and hugs to everyone I knew. I was really excited and at that point really glad I came!

So I'm just hangin around for a while introducing myself to people I had yet to meet. For a moment there is a break in company and a young lady makes her way in front of me. I'm paraphrasing but she basically says; I noticed everybody was really excited when you came in, I like your suit, we must be friends! I thought she was nice but at the same time was received in a very artificial/superficial way. Clearly she saw my huge social dick and wished to climb it as if some sorta bean stalk leading her to a better tommorrow. Sorry, not this life time.

We made small talk for a minute and discussed school. We both went to FIT and If I remember correctly she was a fashion design major. I would imagine social climbing is encouraged in such a field, perhaps even taught as a curriculum. I guess what stood out to me about this particular encounter was how blatant here social climbing approach was.

I mean, we all do it, some of us even make a grand career out of social climbing. Take Cory Kennedy(not the skater) for example. She had to suck that gross Cobra Snake dude's cobra snake. If you don't know what I'm talking about, once again, do your pop culture research.


So the issue here that I'm addressing is really that, sometimes when we social climb, we lose sight of our self worth. And others who find themselves constantly at parties "making connections" end up just being worthless all together. Who wants to stay connected to a useless loser whose only "talent" is uploading pictures of parties to his/her Tumblr?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Old people.


Something that just made It on to my todo list. Talking to an old person-like really old. I'd imagine their whole perspective on the world is just wild. Someone who has lived life all the way through, been there and back, you know?

Someone who's like 70-85 years old or something... All the gnarly things they could have witnessed in all those years! I would imagine they typical reader of this blog is at most 40. If you're a teenager-foreal, you don't know shit about shit. You virgin loser-just playin.

But really image having a real/deep/heart to heart chat with an old person. I've never really gotten the chance! I mean-yes, I have a grandma. However there is a language barriar despite me being able to speak cantonese. I simply am not a master of the languege the way I am with english.

In any case-seize the opportunity if you get it. Odds are this old person is senile and will come off a little crazy. Any body who's got that kooky old grandparent-I am truely envious. Come to think about it I kinda have a crazy grandma! I love her.

I only think about all this because I feel like I get so much insight from talking to people just a few years old-I could only imagine someone WAY older! I know so little about anything and about nothing about everything!

Who knows, you might learn something and grow a little bit on the inside. I don't know, who really knows?

Friday, April 16, 2010

an open letter to skateboarding.



Dear Skateboarding,

We've been through a lot together, and even now I love you more then ever. You've gotten me over some really hard times and I feel really blessed to have you in my life. Even now I could recollect the day we met. What a magical day...

I was young, I remember you were much older. I was a little stand-offish at first to you, but that was only cause I was afraid. Little did I know what an amazing relationship would blossom from our pandering. When you first came into my life, I was stupid, insecure and unsure of who I was. You taught me how to love and be a man. You showed me the strength I always had and made me into the confident self assured person I am today.

I admit it was hard getting to know you at first. Remember when I used to push Mongo? That drove you nuts! Boy, we really have a roller coaster of a relationship. Sometimes, even now you get me so angry I just SNAP! In the past you have really done some terrible things to hurt me. though I realize you are not entirely to blame, sometimes its my fault too. I know I will never meet someone like you again, that's why I hold you so close to my heart.

You really complete me you know that? When I feel alone and scared, you are alway their for me. I thank you for that. I would not be where I am today without you. i would not know the people I know without you. You've introduced me to so many of my life long friends. You are so Generous and continue to give despite so many people taking you for granted.

I know lately I haven't been spending time with you like we used to, School has been crazy and its been hard. But I promise this summer, we're gonna do something special! Maybe we can go away, just me and you. Somewhere we've never been. It could be so great.

I really love you skateboarding, and I mean that. I Really look forward to spending the rest of my life with you and us growing old together. For now we are young and must cherish every moment of our fleeting youth.

Love Jonn.

PS. I forgive you for the whole broken arm incident.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

we met on the train. [part 4]-[the final chapter]


if you missed it, this is [Part 3].
Part IV. (final chapter)

"Like a meeting of chance, with the train station glance."

-Bright Eyes

And one more for luck! That's what this part is all about. The wrapping up of this sorta saga that I have managed to produce. It's no Twilight but (hopefully) compelling non the less.

Where I left off I mentioned that I found her on facebook. Thank god for facebook. When you think about it facebook, texting and Ichat/Aim really changed up the boy girl dynamic. It deffinently complicates the old, "you have my number so call" era. Now it's a much longer filtering process, like stages in a RPG game you must pass to reach the next level. That's sorta how the game always was I guess, just an observation made of the modern youth.

So you might of guessed it, we got to talking and the topic of blogs came up and she asked to see mine/this one. It was embarrassing because the first time she saw it, the newest post was the part 2 of this 4 part mini story. If you didn't guess it, I'm pretty much writing this as it's happening, it's kinda like reality TV, reality blogging if you will. I guess all blogs are "real" whatever that means.. Okay, getting off topic.

So she ended up reading that/these post(s), I imagine she's keeping up with them, I mean, who wouldn't. If a crazy somebody was writing about me in this manner, the narcissist in me would surely want to read! I was embarassed that she read it though not the least bit ashamed. An inapproapriate annalogy but it's like having sex in a public setting. If you're doing it I'd imagine it's embarrassing to a degree to be caught but it's the excitement in the possiblity and wanting in the back of your head to get caught which makes it alluring. Maybe that's just me, how inapro-pro..

Subconsciously I wanted her to read all this. Basically there's a part of me that wants everybody to read everything I write, I get off on it. Though I know there are some things I'm better off not sharing. That's why I also keep a private journal for all these things I don't think the world may ever be ready for. Some things truely are best kept personal, to be shared with only the most intimate of intimates if ever at all. Not deep dark secrets(maybe some), but you know, we all have em.

Everything I choose to share here is carefully thoughtout and I wouldn't put it out for the public if I wasn't comfortable myself first. At this point I feel like alot has already been shared, I'd hate to continue and risk making Zoe feel anymore uncomfortable. I think we already had a crazy first impression/encounter-blogging out everything that happends from that point on would really be too much. I'd prefer to reserves some mystery.


Sincerly,
Jonn

B-T-dubz : I started reading Russell Brand's memoir titled "my booky wook" and I think it's fantastic. It was actually what inspired me to start writing these more personal writing pieces. Russell Brand is someone I totally look up to.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

we met on the train. [part 3]



previously on [part 2]


Part III.

As I was approaching my stop I let her know what a pleasure it was to meet her. Being trapped on a subway train durring rush hour is a miserable experience-any New Yorker will tell you this. A saying that comes to mind is "misery loves company" and it's true what they say-bad thing really do bring people together. When we were talking it could of been 3 hours that passed-I wasn't paying attention. Though it was probly alot less then that.

When I got off the train I was just reflecting on the moment. Grinning at the thought. No matter what happends, I can't take back the moment, why would I want to? When I got home I saw my sister and told her of the entire incident in an excited stupor. She's great with listening to my childish adventures/coming of age stories.

As far as ever seeing Zoe again goes, I can't really say. Back on the train ride I gave her a peice of paper to write her name on so I could find her on facebook. You know it's all just a game-whether you play it or not. So I wait till the next day's afternoon to add her on facebook, any longer and I might seem like I don't care at all-or something like that. We'll see how it plays out or if anything happends at all. you can never really say for certain what could happend next.

To be continued...

Monday, April 12, 2010

we met on the train. [part 2]


This little memoir piece is a continuation of [part 1].



Part II.

This is where I died. It is revealed that her name is Zoe(pronounced Zoe-E, like zooey deschanel). I was sold on her almost immediately. But wait, It gets better!

So obviously the first topic that popped into my mind once I found out her name, was Zooey Deschanel. I asked if she liked She & Him(zooey's band). We got into talking about music And found we listen to pretty similar stuff. On that particular day I was wearing one of my favorite new tee shirts. It's a vintage as fuck Cat Power shirt. I've gotten so much love for wearing that shirt-Cat power is da bomb.

So after chatting about music for a while I start think-dang, this chick has some indie cred foreal. It's pretty exciting when you find somebody who you have common interests with musically. It's something I'm finding to be more and more rare. I guess I like the same music as alot of girls/emo boys, whateves.

So to recap-met a babe-her name is Zoe, and if she read this.. she would probly think I'm totally weird for blogging my life and every exceptional moment in it. Yes, I found this chance encounter with her to be particularly fantastic.

we end up talking for a while and I realize I'm approaching my stop. There was a part of me that wishes it could of been further delayed but then I also wanted to get home. The way everything played out was already just too great-any longer and I could have blown it! It was quite the crazy encounter to meet someone totally interesting/attractive on the subway in New York City.

After learning more about her I saw it Fitting to take down her information. I got her full name to find on facebook and we exchanged numbers. It's alway exciting when you meet someone like this-you can never really say what could happen next and you start to draw conclusions into to the world that could be. I'm not crazy for thinking that/writing this am I?

I'm kinda writing alot-that says something right? It says, this stranger had some hell of an affect on me. I could only imagine what might be on her mind. She could of been unphased by the incident all together. All cercumstances considered I don't know/can say what will happend next. That's what's fun and exciting-not know what's next to come. Though I recognize this was something extraordinary/cosmic and would make a totally awesome story to tell.

To be continued...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

timeline:2004



2004

This was the year I started high school. I attended the high school of Art and Design. To be honest, it didn't live up to my expectation. It was sorta ghetto and over-run with sneaker head hype-beasts. I have reason to beleive Art and design may actually be the epicenter of the "fresh" movement, but thAt could be a post for another day.

So in 2004 I was 14. I was goofy, awkward and totally insecure. Seriously. I used to cry when people called me gay-nowadays I provoke it. This Is also about the time I realized what a blessing it was to live in New York city. Up until this point I had only really known my little suburban neighborhood.

I remember on the first day of school my sister took the train with me into the city so I would get familiar and used to going to school. She was gonna come with me the whole first week but I quickly adjusted to taking the subway and it no longer was neccessary. Upon arriving at school I was really nervous. I immediately called Alex, my friend back home, to tell him how scared I was. I think I was wearing baggy jeans and some Stupid tee shirt that I deffinently thought was cool at the time. I mean, I must of thought it was cool if I wore it the first day of school!

Truth was, I knew nothing about cool. Why would I? I was a high school freshmen! Now I'll tell you about someone who been dead cool since birth. This was the year I met Nabi Salomon. I remember it so clearly-like an instant dude crush. He was wearin a white button down, some ripped up dark wash jeans and had the signature Nablos hair he rocks til this day. I came late to Gym class and sat next to him. I noticed how torn up his shoe was, it had to of meant he skateboarded. So I ask him about it and before you know it we're talking about gundams and shit. The rest is history.
High school was just a crazy time of self discovery and learning to be me. I've gone through so many phases and am not ashamed to admit it. When we change sometimes people think it's hipocritical, but being hipocritical is really just a part of life. You live and learn/evolve. You grow into the best you.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

just My Type: Portia Doubleday


This is the young starlet who has recently won my heart. Her name is Portia Double day and she was the featured Babe in that new Michael Cera jump off "Youth in Revolt". If you have seen it, you need to. Put that on your to do list. Now.

Every time she came on the screen my eyes were glued. I just wanted to stare at her without interruption but the changing from scene to scene made it a real tease. She is insanely beautiful and has just the cutest mannerisms through out the film. She has that something about her that is Uniquely French/Parisian. I adore the French.

I'm not entirely sure if shes even French, just simply pointing out this quality about her. Her look is totally ripped out of an Urban Outfitters' catalogue. Shes really adorable and I'm gonna guess your having a hard time taking your eyes off her too-aren't you?

Friday, April 9, 2010

We met on the train. [part 1]




The other day something really craze happend. I didn't know it was possible but I met someone one (that wasn't a crazy person) on the train!

It was as if any other day coming back from FIT, I took the E train from 23rd street. It happends all the time where I might see a cute girl on the train and we may catch eachother stealing glances, this day was no different. So I sit next to this really cute chick whose got on an over sized sweater and short shorts. We ride a stop or two and I'm not thinking much, just reading my book and listening to music when suddenly and announcement comes up. I didn't hear it too clearly with my music playing so I turn to her to ask what the conductor said. It turns out the train was not going into Queens, where we we're both headed, so we get off to wait for the next train at 42nd street.

I stand around her but don't say anything. The next train comes and we both get on. We stand next to eachother, I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. She takes out her book and begins to read. I love girls that read/own books in general, when someone reads it really says alot about their intellegence. So yeah we ride a few stops and it's about 6:00 pm-rush hour, and it's packed. It's typical that the train blows it about now but this particular day it was really bad.

So were standing next to eachother packed in a stationary subway car for atleast a half an hour. I start to think to myself and remember a story Evan told me about his friend Drew. Drews is this guy who's got just the most fantastic giant red afro-one that I must elaborate on anotherday, I have tried to interview him however was interupted. That's neither here nor there so-anyway. What he did was, on the subway he found himself exchanging glances with a babe. So he takes out a peice of paper infront of her, writes his number on it and let's her have it as he's getting off. Apperently she was a freak and calls him almost immediately. They hooked up for some time after, or so that's what I remember hearing. An ode to the bold.

So back to the story-this story about Drew comes to mind and I'm thinking maybe I can pull some shit like that! So I take out a peice of gum, and use the wrapper to write down my number, next to it I write "call/text". I then put this little gum wrapper/note in my pocket and think about when would be a good time to let her have it.

Sometime passes and the train is still moving unbeleivably slow, at this point we're still in manhattan approaching Lexington ave(the last stop before entering Queens). I start to think-this gum wrapper plan is stupid... Maybe I should just say something to her. The problem now was working up the courage to say something. She was reading a book so I thought to ask her what she was reading, the only thing was it had been silent for so long I forget how to even speak. I take some deep breathes and recall the use of my vocal chordes.

When I finally muster up the courage to say what was on my mind, I waited for her to flip her page asumming at that moment she was not forcused on her reading and able to hear me. I ask, "so what are you reading?". She turns and looks at me as if anticipating the question. I sensed she was glad I broke our tawdry silence. She begins elaborating on her book which evolves into a conversation. So now I'm talking to this girl on a subway car where both trapped on, could it be anymore perfect?

To be continued...

Monday, April 5, 2010

Timeline:2006




2006

Maybe you get only one of these in your life, I'm not certain. For me, her name is Joy. Even now, when I close my eyes and think of what love is, I see her. 2006 was the year we met and started going out. God. I was so in love with her, I couldn't stand being away from her. I was 16 and not knowing what was going on-I just went with my crazy feelings and let it unfold knowing little of what would result. That's what you do when you're that age right?

Joy was amazing. Durring this era I would spend so much time with her. She ultimately became my only friend. We would know eachother's high school schedule by heart and meet between every class even if it was for 2 minutes. Our time together was precious. I remember we went to the warped tour together since we both liked pop-punk. On random weekends she would invite me upstate with her family and we would just walk around suburban malls thinking we were the shit. In the summer she would go on vacation or camp and we would mail eachother letters. everything that I could ever get my hands on-ticket stubs, old bandaids, trinkets-things that carried a memory, I would collect in this shoe box. on that shoe box i wrote "2006 - " at the time hoping I would never put a date on the other end.


When I think of it now I still get warm feelings-it wasn't an insane amount of time ago and the memories of the 16 or so months we spent together was really something. Joy without a doubt affected me in the deepest of ways. If I hadn't met her, perhaps I wouldn't be so animate about writing. This blog would likely not exist. I remember when we were together I would keep a little journal and only let her read it, it was sorta how I would express myself to her when I didn't have the words to speak.

We were together up until early 2008, I guess we just sorta grew apart. We would break up and get back together weekly, we were a volitile couple. Though this particular time we didn't make up-that was it. She has been the inspiration/influence that I have written about countless times. Everything that could of been said of her, I have on a peice of paper some where. nice things. angry things. sweet things. moment of jealously and rage. she has taken me throught the emotional spectrum and shaped me into me.



No regrets now, cause what was learned from the experience was truely priceless. She was the girl I lost my virginity to though I would hardly describe it as a loss. She was a virgin too, I suppose you can call it an exchange. I feel really lucky to have experienced such a young naive love and wouldn't of had it any other way.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

just My Type: Tina Fey


Dumb bitches are cool/a good time but Tina Fey is what I would describe as one of "the finer things in life". There is just so much to love about her. shes witty, charming and easy on the eyes(I love that expression). I pretty much grew up watching her on SNL and have been in love ever since.

An Intellegent woman is Sexy on so many levels. it's also nice if a girl is really funny, as in-I'm not just laughing to get in your pants. It's good to have someone you can be genuine with and not have to bullshit your way through a relationship.

Maybe this is just me...and maybe you're a dumbass whose idea of gourmet is Mcdonalds, I don't know, I'm not one to judge.. I'm just advocating that Tina Fey is a babe/the Tiramisu of my world.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Herpes-The new Black?



So I heard this statistic that says, at this rate, in 500 years(or so), natural blonds will be extinct do to it's recessive genic traits. So I have a statistic. I say at this rate, eventually everyone will have herpes. Herpes isn't the worst-plus on a long enough time line...I could image something like "9 in every 10 people have herpes." It becomes a totally normal thing that some people have to deal with, and that 1 in 10 that don't have it will have to just be careful.

I think in the future if this DOES happened, it's up to hollywood and the media to save it. It's inevitable that some celeb of the future with contract herpes(probly Miley Cyrus) and make it the "cool new thing". He or she will be crowned "Avant guarde" and lead a revolution! Making herpes "the new black".

Unless there's a cure for this rather comedic STD, I think this is a pretty good hypothesis. I mean, I don't have herpes but when and if I ever contract herpes, I'd hope I don't have to be bummed on it forever! So that's why I'm leaving it up to the world to make herpes the hot new style of 2000whatever. You can do it! Make herpes the hot new fashion trend that all the cool kids are rockin'!