Showing posts with label aids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aids. Show all posts

Monday, March 29, 2010

Herpes-The new Black?



So I heard this statistic that says, at this rate, in 500 years(or so), natural blonds will be extinct do to it's recessive genic traits. So I have a statistic. I say at this rate, eventually everyone will have herpes. Herpes isn't the worst-plus on a long enough time line...I could image something like "9 in every 10 people have herpes." It becomes a totally normal thing that some people have to deal with, and that 1 in 10 that don't have it will have to just be careful.

I think in the future if this DOES happened, it's up to hollywood and the media to save it. It's inevitable that some celeb of the future with contract herpes(probly Miley Cyrus) and make it the "cool new thing". He or she will be crowned "Avant guarde" and lead a revolution! Making herpes "the new black".

Unless there's a cure for this rather comedic STD, I think this is a pretty good hypothesis. I mean, I don't have herpes but when and if I ever contract herpes, I'd hope I don't have to be bummed on it forever! So that's why I'm leaving it up to the world to make herpes the hot new style of 2000whatever. You can do it! Make herpes the hot new fashion trend that all the cool kids are rockin'!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Deal Breakers



On behalf of Men everywhere, I propose this list I've compiled as Our new bible. Alright maybe on behalf of just me. These are my personal Deal breakers. Like if I'm just getting to know you, on that first date...or maybe it'll just come up in small talk, but the moment I find any of the things on this list to be true about you! All Bets are OFF!

Girl Deal Breakers

-If you're a Jesus freak
-taller then me
-shorter then me by more then 6 inches
-A Bad kisser
-if I dress better then you
-more macho then me
-if your vadge is gross
-dying(sorry)
-Illiturate
-are with child
-have AIDS(sorry)(kind falls into 'dying' category)
-ugly
-used to be a man
-look like any of my family members
-hairier then me
-obsessed with your ex
-talk wayyy too much and don't pause for a second to let me breath/think/respond
-Or have yellow teeth or gross teeth in general.

This was all from my dudely perspective. while chatting today with my new friend Katie I asked her what where some deal breakers of hers? what factors in the male species made her privates run and hide?! I had to know what girls have to say. so we got to brain storming! Surprisingly the list she came up with was a tad longer then the one i made, am I selling myself short? should I be completely sexist and make impossible demands?! Katie was a great sport and was a wealth of feminine Knowledge, so Fellas take notes!


Guy deal breakers

-Can't be shorter
-can't be unambitious(double neggy, sorry)
-Too American[burgers and fries]
-Not too conservative
-if you happend to be Uncultured and stupid
-Balding
-Size matters!
-Face tats
-Gross apt.
-Bad hygiene
-Overly metro/gay/prissy
-if you a Bigger cup size[titty wise]
-Body odor
-Crooked teeth
-Greasy hair
-If your more into shopping then me
-Lazy
-Where more Jewelery then me
-Chapped lips
-If you wear crocs
-Carpenter jeans
-Cowboy boots[nooo]