Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Alcohol [part 2]

this is [part 1].

This stuff just grosses me out. It tastes nasty, I don't know why anyone would drink it for fun. I suppose it's the out come of it all. When a whole room of people are drunk, it's as if social norms and rules get thrown into a washing machine and comes out all mangled. It's really rolling the dice on what could happened and what was gonna happen any way.

Sometimes dudes (like myself) get it into our heads like that they have more game talking to a girl when they're drunk. I'd agree that it could make the approach easier, but if you're really hammered, you not gonna be saying many things of substance. Don't treat alcohol like some sort of shield for your insecurities. If you have a hard time getting out of your shell, drinking may get you out of it, but let's hope you don't become dependent.

I like to drink. I think it's really fun. I'm smart about it though. I treat alcohol like cake. How often do I have cake? Once in a while on special occasions. Exactly. So that being said, I can continue to promote this particular poison.

Following up on the first part of this story, I didn't drink or smoke or do anything after that incident with the wine. All though high school the thought of alcohol grossed me out and I stayed away from it. It was only until my first year of college in California that I gave it another go.

I can remember the first occasion I drank out there, but this time, it was fun. When I was drunk it was awesome! It all sorta started when I went out with friends to parties. I didn't know why at the time, but whenever I was drunk, I could just rule a room. It was like, I thought out loud, and everybody would just listen to me. I indulged in being the center of attention. I would stand on a chair and start philosophizing on how eating a grapefruit was a lot like going to war(if you see me in person, be sure to ask me about that).

That's the truth, I love having people listen to me. It's no secret. most people would like to have people listen to them. Alcohol just helped me realize that. It's one of the things in life that I just really get off on. Oh my god, now I'm spilling my guts all over the world wide web. Good thing I'm not alone in this department.

I mean, eventually I learned to be equally as interesting when I'm not drunk as when drunk. Alcohol gave me this.. Extra charisma that I needed at the time. Now I feel like I can deal without it. It's like cake.

Monday, June 28, 2010

chillen hard.

The Oxymoron of the summer of 2010. So basically, I've been chillen hard as of late. But that doesnt mean alot hasnt been on my minds. For example. WTF is happening over in North Korea? I hear some fucked up shit!

I heard that the Dictator guy(kim jong il) is pretty much the worst dude next to Hitlet. I heard he has a problem with short people, so he send'em off to some island were they will probably...get all 'lord of the Flies' on.

Even worst, he controls the schools and media! His people are taught to beleive he is God and has the power to control weather and never poo!

North Korea, is a backwards place.


So now I've provided you with a breif Current Events run down. This summer, do me a favor, and.. "Gouge your eyes out with fun!"

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Porn is cool. I just masterbated and I have come to the conclusion that porn, is awesome. If you're a dude, and don't think porn is cool, there's something wrong with you. Seriously, I don't think we're gonna get along if you don't think porn is the bomb! dot com!

If this topic is too much for you to handle, get a life. Girls, don't act like you've never given a blow job. We're all human, get real.

Porn is cool for soo many reasons. I was watching the MTV movie awards earlier today and when Jessica Alba came on, my friend was like "I'd fuck the shit out of her". I thought, good thing you could touch yourself!

Porn is crazy. How many of these paragraphs are gonna start with "porn"? Porn is soo crazy. What we're really doing when us dude are joikin' it, is living vicariously through others. We are experiencing moments in anothers life we may never live. For example, I most likely will never fuck Brianna Banks, however, my boy Lex Steele got all up in that, so I'm gonna live vicariously through him as I picture myself in his place. Get what I'm saying?

Porn is like... A billion dollar industry! And for good reason, it totally brings the rape count down and provides me and most normal guys an activity to perform when we get bored/are alone in the house/have blue balls etc.

I'm not gonna list reason why porn is awesome, it just is. Even if you have a girlfriend/fuck buddy or something, nothing is quiet as personal as you on yourself. No one knows the exact rhythm and pace quiet like you know yourself. And for all you virgins.. It gives you a general idea of what happeneds, when and if you do ever get it in for the first time.

If you don't think porn is awesome.. If you don't think porn is awesome, okay, I'll give you a list.

If you dont think porn is awesome, you're probably...
..too pretentious to admit you watch it.
..not a properly functional man.
..don't have a dick.
..using your imagination when you rub one out.
..don't have a computer.
..and the list goes on..

I won't even feel comfortable talking to you if you don't like porn. On the flip side, if you like porn too much.. I probably wouldn't feel comfortable talking to you either. But I think when guys can discuss porn and jerkin off and shit, it really says he's comfortable with himself and being around others. I think it's like a social code or something...

..your a cool mother-fucker if I can chat about porn n shit with you.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

cigarettes.[part 3]

I'm supposed to do a follow up to this little peice.. Fuck it I don't have to do anything for anybody!

And that's exactly how cigarettes make me feel. Fuck it. Fuck you. Judge me in your little brain, the fuck do I care. I feel this way for a good 10 to 15 minutes.. Before I snap back to reality and realize there's shit on the line and it's gonna hit the fan if I don't do anything about it. I'm guessing I might not be alone in this response to smoking? Do you get what I'm saying? Fuck it, go have a smoke.

There was a good episode of south park that kinda summed it up. Look it up I guess. When I smoke, i just feel like melting into a comfy arm chair and shooting the shit with some intellegent company. That's the best..

Welcome to flavor country.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

just My Type: Katy Perry

These are some of my Fave Katy P. pix. I adore her, Shes really quiet the gem. I would Describe katy as... a Far more commercial Zooey Deschanel plus huge boobs. not to say I necessarily favor her over Zooey, to be rather frank, they're nothing alike and two completely different cups of tea.

I mean, Katy must be a babe! Its really no question. She is after all the wife to be of on of my favored humans Russell Brand. Knowing that she is the future Mrs. Brand only make me love her more. Whats not to love about her 40s pin-up girl look! For fuck sake the girl can dress up like a strawberry and still look mega fine!

Have you heard that new song? "California Girls", is it called? shes deffs my favorite of the poppy bunch. and yes, I enjoy pop music. whatever. So what if she kissed a girl and liked it? Isn't that ultra hot?!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Quality problems.

The way I see it, everybody has problems. it's unavoidable. People often get this idea into their head that if they aquire this, this and that(add in money, women, cars whatever),they will be definitively happy. when you get older you realize thats not/never the case.

life is a series of problems and challenges and solving one will only create another. But you know what? its not as much of a downer as you would think. Fortunately, some problems are better then others. Let me throw a few examples your way.

Would you rather be arguing with your girlfriend over not spending enough time with each other or lonely with no one in your life? Another example, would you rather be poor and starving or have trouble deciding which sports car you wish to purchase?

Its obvious that some problems we'd prefer to have over others. Given that our problems are in reference to our lives, shouldn't we be more conscious of whether we are dealing with quality problems or not? Quality problems AKA the American dream. Its our progressive nature that I think we should all encourage to reach higher, go longer and live better.

Quality problems, or better put, Mo' money mo' problems.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Approximately 2 weeks ago I began an internship at WESC(we are the superlative conspiracy) and I'm really enjoying it. I've been learning just soo much all while really getting a feel for the corporate world. I'm a big fan of the brand and am excited to be part of it. the internship is going well, though there was a particular assignment that will always stick out in my mind. The guy I'm working for, Adam, he gave me this shopping bag, filled to the top with business cards, he got me a binder with card slots, and he told me, to organize every car in alphabetical order. Jesus that was pain full.

If its a brand you aren't familiar with, get familiar with it, cause its gonna be around for a while.