Sunday, May 30, 2010

Self help.

I'm always looking to improve myself, absorbing information everywhere I go, figuring out the things I see. The people I enjoy the most are the ones who enrich my life with their own learnings. You're never too old to keep learning, that's something my dad always says. Hes a pretty old dude, but his mind is still sharp.

Sometimes you'll meet someone who's ashamed to learn. Someone who wants to carry the illusion that they know it all and there isn't much left to learn. I'm more the type that'll swallow my pride and dive head first into something if I really feel passionate about it. I adore constructive criticism. To me, this brings up the subject of strength. Though its an entirely different ball of wax, I believe strength isn't when you decide you are a certain way and stick to it, but instead when you have an opinion and defend it and when faced with over whelming evidence, you may reconsider your views.

I'm still young enough right now to where I can shamelessly learn about whatever and make mistakes here and there. I would hope by the next decade, when I'm 30, I'd be able to minimize this margin of error and come as close to perfection as I can be. Couldn't you imagine it being embarrassing to be 30 and still not know how to drive a car? Just throwing that out there as an example.

But at the core of what I'm saying.. We shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed to seek information and knowledge. We have the Internet at our finger tips and a whole universe to learn about. We shouldn't be ashamed to be actively searching for ways to better ourselves. I wish we'd all agree to get our heads out off our asses and just do what we need to do to improve ourselves! I started pondering all this when I realized being in the self help section of a bookstore was slightly taboo and embarrassing. I don't feel like it should be that way.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Your mondane life.

We all live a mondane life. Of coarse you don't think it's mondane, but when I have to listen to it, I could hardly stay awake. Just kidding! I'm a great listener.

But really, getting people to give a fuck about what you say is an art form! One way I've been exploring for the past few months is blogging. Look at you! Reading my bullshit and loving it! Well. You might not be loving it but you're sure not gonna stop reading cause I said that!

Anyway, you wouldn't be reading this now if you didn't find any of the past posts interesting. I had to flick you on the forehead a few times and shock you with commentary on taboo topics before I could get you hooked. Less of coarse you're a completely new reader, in which case, hello.

Text is one thing, but verbal presentation is a complete other. I love telling a story. But not everyone has the attention span to completely listen. That's where this bit of advice comes in..

..learn. To speak. Slooow. And. Every so often. Just throw.. Periods. Into your. Sentences, where they... Wouldn't normally be. It's pretty.. Annoying to read.. Via text. However, in your. Day to day. This could make your.. Mondane.. Boring.. Life-saga seem.. Almost captivating. If you think you're.. Nice with it.. Throw random.. Punctuations.. In to your. Sentences.. It might make things more.. Interesting? It's pretty.. Funny when you add.. Question marks? It's makes thing.. Awkwardly funny? Yeah. Just be sure.. To leave... Your words.. Hanging...

I know that was annoying, but I swear it works! When you speak slower, it conveys confidence and your message is more clear. Plus it give you more time to think. All those mental blanks that come up, when you're talking to people, it's cause you depend to heavily on content. Don't worry about what you're saying, just say it slow.. Drag it out.. Worrrrd.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fone footy

A copilation of stuff i shot of my Phone durring the past few months.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Alcohol [part 1]

A long time ago before I knew anything about anything.. As if I know shit now.. I used to think getting drunk from alcohol was a myth. Like, I seriously thought this. I actually believed that people never really got drunk and when they would act drunk it was just cause they where retarded! Can you believe what a shit head I was? I must of been like 13 When I still thought this. I really didn't stop believing this till the year after..

The following year, my family had decided it was time to move away from my beloved home town of fresh meadows in Queens. It meant that I would no longer be a stones throw from the childhood buddies I had known since my adolescence and had grown quite fond of. I had just started high school and I was commuting to the city, I had not yet made many friends so I felt a great comfort in going home and seeing my old chums.

I'm sure everyone can for the most part relate to friends you grow up and away from. This is a story for them. The story of the night that I almost died. Seriously.

In this little neighborhood, a great friend from my past, his name was Nik, he always took pride in spelling his name that way. He worked in the neighborhood drug store. He had known for sometime now that I was moving away and it was a sorta depressing thing for me and everyone else in my life at the time. So this particular night, we did something crazy, crazy for 14 year old newly pubescent boys.

At this neighborhood drug store that Nik worked at, Nik's boss, an old guy, gave Nik the task of disposing of some old wine that he no longer wanted. Being the deviant Nik was, he decided to store the several bottles of wine behind the dumpster.

After work nik told me about this plot and to stick around a while. Me and him where truly the original porch monkeys, we used to sit outside his stoop and bullshit the day away. Fond memories..

Another good pal of mine was there that night too. His name is Derek, I love this guy, we still keep in touch, and chill every now and then when he's back from college upstate. We would typically bond over the injustice of being a minority, me being Asian and him being black.. We would talk about that and girls. Jeez, this is turning into a trip down memory lane..

Ok, so it's me, Nik and Derek, and we all decide to start drinking. It's evening at this point, about 9ish.. There are several bottles of wine, red wine. Nik brings out 3 bottle from behind the dumpster and brings it over to his place which is just on the other side of this parking lot, real close.

We pour the wine into these tall glasses, you know the kind you take a chug of water from on a hot summer day? Yeah, we filled it to the top, said cheers and bottoms up! Boy did I think that taste was awful! So awful in fact that, this was the first time I learned of the concept of using a chaser. Chasing alcohol down with a better tasting beverage.

I wasn't sure if Nik had drank before this night, he probably had but being the teenager he was, he was still probably a shit head. That didn't hold him back from playing the big brother in the entire ordeal. I actually appreciated it. He anticipated that me and Derek might not like the taste so he brought iced tea for us to chase it down.

I was skateboarding at this point and in between every drink I would do a kickflip. It was easy, I still didn't believe I could get drunk. It wasn't until we finished the 3 bottles before I started noticing it. Nik told me to go get more behind the dumpster. I then began to walk across the parking lot.

Half way through the empty parking lot, right in the middle, I fell to the floor.

This wasn't bad, I was really happy. I just lied on the floor for however long I needed to, stares up at the street lamps and got up when I was ready. I come back with a few more bottles and we continue drinking.

There was a point where I went completely insane. I walked on top a moving car. Ok, maybe it was parked by I stood on it. I stood on it and screamed. I was drunk, for the first time in my life.

I only lived 3 blocks away, but Jesus. 3 block have and will never be as long as they where that night. Derek and I, equally hammered, stumbled to my home. We undoubtedly had way too much to drink.

We were almost there, but then.. He fell to the ground, he fell into someones lawn. He was asleep, I wasn't sure. I tried, no, I didn't try to help him.. But I wanted to. I gestured toward him and then it happened, I started to vomit. I was too young and naive to know what to do, it haunts me till this day the actions I took. Derek got sick, passed out on someones lawn and was picked up by cops and brought home. He didn't want to speak to me after that night, and his mother didn't want him seeing me.

I stormed into my home and had no time for explanation. My mom came in and saw how I was. It made her cry. I was in so much pain, I vomited everything in me till I could no more, and even then I would gag reflex. The notion of ever eating again felt so foreign. Till this day, I probably have never been that trashed.

The next day my father was watching me vomit into a bag. I was pale and sickly. He had a sorta sense of humor about it. He saw what I was in and didn't bother to punish me, the hangover was plenty punishment already.. I wouldn't touch alcohol for the next 4 years..

And Derek.. Eventually I got my friend back.

To be continued..

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

just My Type: Marie Mccray

I just thought you guys should know how rare these photos where. Its pretty hard finding photos of this girl without a dick in her mouth or a face dripping with cum. That is of coarse because shes a porn star! I don' really know if shes a stylish girl or not, these outfits of hers could very well just be costume. what does it matter? a real man only need a woman to be naked, the only outfit that matters!
Shes not just any porn star, well, I mean, she is, but shes deffs too cute to be doing anal sex or any other dirty shit. Shes a lucky one, in the heirarchy of Porn. if you notice, all the cute girls will only do vaginal and the occassional blow job mean while the less desirables you'll see getting DP'd in a gang bang!

She doesnt even need to be a porn star, I could see her on day time television or something... or as my girlfriend making me a sandwhich in her undies... shes so cute, I'd probly date her and still have her do porn, that'd actually be pretty cool! talk about life experiences..

Lets keep this site classy and leave it at that. though I highly recommend you Google her ASAP...then her..

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Simple things.

Simple ways to be a better person:

-Start fewer of your sentences with 'I'. You'd be surprised how much you talk about yourself in ratio to how much people care.

-Hang out with "day time" people. They tend to be more responsible and make the world go round. They're the ones you see at parties and say "I don't see you at parties often!" in your drunken stupor.

-When someone asks you, what do u like to do, have a badass answer. "I hunt serial killers."

-Get into a routine to prove you are capable of routine then break the routine and make a new one.

-Stay/get in shape, there's no reason to be fat.

-smoke pot once In a while, it really opens up your mind. If your smoking everyday, that could be a bit much.

-pay attention to pop culture, just a little. Thing about it is that it's popular which means a lot of people pay attention to It. I'm guessing you might be happier if you like the people you're put on this planet with. Knowing to make small talk about celebrities really helps.

-Take an improv or acting class. I've never done this though I hear it teaches you to be more confident and hold your own socially.

-Believe in something when you die, anything. It could be an existing religious faith or made up off the top of your head. When I die, I'll be a tree, a happy tree, till I get cut down.. Then I'll be a happy toothpick!

-Keep your downer comments to yourself, save it for Downer discussions with other friends when they're down too. Misery loves company.

Saturday, May 8, 2010


I read one of your faggy posts last week and fuck yo, you're a fucking fag! Like seriously? Gay best friend? Just come outta the closet already! Why can't you just say it! We all know you want dick in your mouth!

Jesus Christ! You're such a know it all yuppy! Pompusly giving advice to the world as if you're some sorta messiah, you're FUCKING 20! It wasn't very long ago you got the privilage to buy ciggarettes. You're just a jaded fucking hipster fucking BITCH BOY!

And another thing! You're fucking unoriginal and a total rip off of that boy crazy site. You're a fag. You should take over that site cause we all know you're boy crazy. You should go fulfil you're dream and suck Dylan Rieders dick! You prissy fag!

Fuck you,
Eli Reed

In response :

Goodness Eli, I had no idea you felt strongly about me.. To be honest you calling me bitch boy in all caps got me rather excited. Hope to hear from you again soon<3

If any one else would like to send me some more fan mail, reassuring me of my brilliance as dear Eli has done, please feel free.

E-mail :

Gif. courtesy of Evan Borja.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Alone at a party...

We've all been there, assuming you have let's open with this..

Why is it that people text to make themselves look important at parties/or any awkward situation? We've all seen it/done it. Why do we need that sort of gratification? Why must we appear to other like were above what's goin on here and should be "over there" having a way better time? And most of all, who the fuck cares?

I'm asking a bunch of questions I know the answers to. Of course we want to feel important. Of coarse being alone sucks, though a lot of us deny ever feeling alone.

I have a better word for being alone. I call it being lonely, the two are different you know? You could want to be alone, privacy is nice right? But I don't think anyone wants to feel lonely. Lonelyness is a type of pain I suppose. That's why we try to cover it up with bullshit texting to a signifegent other or friend who is absent.

I was never for this sorta cover up. Anyone who knows me can see I'm not a big texter. Though I do write alot of these posts on my phone so that could be seen/taken in the same way. Whatever.

So next time you're at a party and, you don't know/like any body.. Or it could be all dudes.. Or like, there's an awkward mix of heads.. Or everyone there is ugly or something.. There are 2 things I would say to do.

One, you could really step out of your shell and make some connections. You could stop being that shallow empty person I know deep down you are and talk to someone you normally wouldn't talk to.. Note: someone being ugly is not a good reason to avoid them. It means your an ugly gross person on the inside and it will be that much harder for you to find people that will truely love you for you. Fuck you, I already hate you.

And the other is.. Just dip. Leave the party. Don't be rude and standoffish, just be like, hey, It was nice meeting you blah blah blah, I had fun(even though you clearly didn't, I don't think you will be punished for this sorta lie) and get going. There will be another party. I didn't beleive this at first but have come to accept it as a fact.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Girls are really such delicate things, you guys need to remember that. Not that you should watch everything you say with a fine tooth comb, but to consider how she might feel is a no brainer.

Girls want to laugh, have a good time, want to feel safe and protected. Every girl is different, though I feel like these things are general enough to apply. And another thing, no girl wants to feel "general" either. So when a certain lady is special, let that be known. But never say it if you don't mean it, never lie, cause eventually she will see you for who you really are and that will set back your friendship.

This could really apply to a number of situations. This is my rule of thumb when it comes to girls but never a template. Every girl is different.

One time I met a girl that was really not havin it with me. I was probably the antithesis of what she was attracted too. I think she was into burly lumber Jack wolverine types that can sprout a full beard on command. I thought this was funny.

Also, always have a sense of humor about things, in any situation. This is some life advice. Be able to laugh about the bad times and not take yourself too seriously. Something I'm often times guilty of.

I hope I made your day better!
Smile! won't you?