Cigarettes.[part 1]

Up until this point in my life, this point meaning the past maybe 2 years, cigarettes have been a really touchy topic for me. See, as a kid growing up in the 90s, elementarty school made it a huge deal to convince me that cigarettes where bad. I deffinently know there bad, that's not what I'm debating.

I'm not really debating, I'm telling a story. So through out my teenage life I hated cigarettes. I hated that my sister smoked, I hated that my brother smoked, I hated when anyone in my life smoked at all. It was really only up until my first year of college when a good friend of mine taught me the joys of smoking.

We actually started smoking together, I think we split a pack or something. I remember I had maybe 5 cigarettes out of that pack at most and he finnished the rest. I slowly witnessed first hand as he built up his addiction. I definitely didn't smoke as much as he did, but whenever I would smoke it was with him. We would always have these great philosophical conversations while having a cigarette, some times just us, other times with company.

Before this point I would be so completely against cigarettes. I used to make such a fuss about it to my now ex girlfriend. It was just one of the things that she did that didn't sit well with me. Every time she would have a cigarette, I felt betrayed. I would beg her to stop, tell her it's because I cared. When I look back now it was just me being young and unable to manage my emotions. I was insecure and felt comfort in controlling what she could and couldn't do. I realize now it was hardly about the cigarettes.

Nowadays I just take everything with a grain of salt. If someone wants a cigarette, it's their choice. It would be an insult to their intelligence if I said they couldn't have one. I mean that's what addiction really is right? It's a test, one that the feeble minded fail time and time again. To say, no, you can not take this challenge, would really be an insult at the core. It's saying, you're not smart enough to understand the risk you're taking. That's a call for a 13 year old's parent to make.

Even now I would never smoke in front/around my parents, it would just break their hearts. I should just quit or something. But to quit would imply that I started and constantly smoke, something I'm slightly in denial of. I'm a light smoker, I'll say that.

What a fun topic, I feel like I have so much more to say on it! Perhaps that is why a part 2 must be in production!

To be continued...