chillen hard.

The Oxymoron of the summer of 2010. So basically, I've been chillen hard as of late. But that doesnt mean alot hasnt been on my minds. For example. WTF is happening over in North Korea? I hear some fucked up shit!

I heard that the Dictator guy(kim jong il) is pretty much the worst dude next to Hitlet. I heard he has a problem with short people, so he send'em off to some island were they will probably...get all 'lord of the Flies' on.

Even worst, he controls the schools and media! His people are taught to beleive he is God and has the power to control weather and never poo!

North Korea, is a backwards place.

...

So now I've provided you with a breif Current Events run down. This summer, do me a favor, and.. "Gouge your eyes out with fun!"

Simple things.

Simple ways to be a better person:

-Start fewer of your sentences with 'I'. You'd be surprised how much you talk about yourself in ratio to how much people care.

-Hang out with "day time" people. They tend to be more responsible and make the world go round. They're the ones you see at parties and say "I don't see you at parties often!" in your drunken stupor.

-When someone asks you, what do u like to do, have a badass answer. "I hunt serial killers."

-Get into a routine to prove you are capable of routine then break the routine and make a new one.

-Stay/get in shape, there's no reason to be fat.

-smoke pot once In a while, it really opens up your mind. If your smoking everyday, that could be a bit much.

-pay attention to pop culture, just a little. Thing about it is that it's popular which means a lot of people pay attention to It. I'm guessing you might be happier if you like the people you're put on this planet with. Knowing to make small talk about celebrities really helps.

-Take an improv or acting class. I've never done this though I hear it teaches you to be more confident and hold your own socially.

-Believe in something when you die, anything. It could be an existing religious faith or made up off the top of your head. When I die, I'll be a tree, a happy tree, till I get cut down.. Then I'll be a happy toothpick!

-Keep your downer comments to yourself, save it for Downer discussions with other friends when they're down too. Misery loves company.

I Recommend...

...you don't take me too seriously.

...you check this blog at least once a week.

...you start a blog.

...you express your criticism towards your friends.

...you own whoever you are.

...you learn to love yourself.

...you get involved with society.

...you find somebody to love.

...you appreciate small gestures.

...you drink tea(earl grey).

...you adopt a personality.

...you stop smoking pot.

...you do everything so you regret nothing.

...you live all or nothing.

...you be extravagant while you can.

...you become someone extraordinary.

...you have no remorse when you're old and wrinkly.

...you have box wine with your friends occasionally.

...you watch cable TV.

...you own an iphone.

...you try hummus.

...you use a water bottle instead of wasting plastic.

...you start to care about earth.

...you start to care about your future.

...you don't cum on her face.

...you do your homework.

...you don't settle for a GED.

...you start listening to the Beatles.

...you voice your opinion.

...you argue with your friends.

...you save money.

...you spend money.

...you have a 3some.

...you lose your virginity before you're 21.(more then enough time)

...you demand my respect.

...you watch Wes Anderson movies.

...you don't get addicted to anything.

...you realize there's no difference between free-range and caged chicken.

...you eat granola.

...you have cereal whenever you want.

...you not care what I think unless you want to.

...you not attack me on the street.

...you go legit snowboarding.

...say yes to as many opportunities as you can.

...you be my friend if you like me.

Cereal is a cop-out

A lot of controversy behind this one. Listen, cereal is Delicious, we all know, but should you really be eating an entire box in one sitting or even having it for more than just breakfast?

Why are you eating all that cereal for anyway? Is it cause you just smoked a fat bowl and cereal is the only thing you can "prepare" that you won't fuck up? Or maybe you're an uncultured dumbass whose idea of "gourmet" is sold in the frozen foods section of BJs/Costco.

You see where I'm coming from? Of course you don't. Alright, so maybe it was a long day and you're too tired to fix yourself a warm meal, perfectly acceptable...once or twice a week. But we both know cereal is your breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack.

You can't help someone who doesn't want your help however you could make 'em feel like shit till they see the light. Beats the hell out of watching on the sideline agonizingly as someone blows it. or you could just not care all together, but then what kinda friend are you?

If you keep up with this blog you might be thinking that I'm overly critical of "losers". That's cause I am. I am because I'm overly critical about myself. A few months ago I was a total loser. Right now I'm working toward being as awesome as I think I am. Consider this my renaissance.

So I'm proud to say I've had the same box of special K on top my fridge for a month now, it's a little more then a half box. It was hard, had to seek rehab, attend cereal anonymous, milk arrest.. Tough habit to break. At some point I needed it so bad, I used water!

Just kidding, I would never do that. Boy I'm kinda a snobb huh?

My Friends are sick!

I have fans!

This fuckin tool bag over here is our fan of the week. Hunter over here is from some Midwest/who gives a fuck state. He IM'd me one day randomly, to let me know what an overnight Internet celebrity I have become. Thanks buddy, do you by any chance have a sexy mother in need of anal?

enjoy left to right

tight with geoff

Good Mood!

I'm in a really good mood! although I've found the more interesting Blog posts have been when I was upset about something, I think this ones a good one!

I just took a shower and i feel amazing! I scrubbed and scrubbed every inch of myself. being well groomed is always a nice feeling. If your ever in a bad mood, a Showers always gna pick you up ever so slightly. I'm not advocating that it's gonna save your life, but If your stinky, It might get you more friends!

On top of all this, I also shaved my package! it's been a minute, it was starting too look like a 40 year old Serbian down there. Ha! I honestly don't know where women stand on male pubic hair, but personally i like to keep it trim, about a centimeter is good. Every guy should do this! you will(as I did) fall in love with your penis all over again! Enough to blog about it!

I cant stress the importance of loving yourself. The love I have for myself is bordering Narcissism, which can be bad, but i feels so good...

This is my list of things that will always pick You/me up! :

1. walking around Target.
2. Jersey shore, The OC, sex and the city, SEINFELD

3. SEINFELD

4. write out your feelings

5. blog about your penis/vagina

6. take a Bubble bath.(showers are almost as good)

7. eat jello

8. Try on all your clothes, you'll really get a kick if you rediscover something old!

9. chill with an animal(they're just so accepting)

10. play gay 90s music and rock out to it in private!

General theme here? do shit your not gonna fail at. Save the challenges of your crazy life for when your on point! Sharp, ready, focused! I am so ready for life!

did I mention Tuesday I have class from 9:10 am to 9:10 pm? Bring it on.

A tribute to the Ambitious!

There's new stuff coming out everyday. Have you guys seen that new apple Ipad? That thing is effing insane! It's nuts what humans are capable of, the ones with ambition anyway.

So I wouldn't mind having an Ipad of my own, shit, I'll even say it, I want one! I've been told that want and desire is the cause of unhappiness and to not be so materialistic. Well that's a bit of a cop out isn't it? Especially coming from a guy with no job, who’s a lazy coach potato. Why are you trying to keep me down?

pothead tryna hold me down!

Now I'm not trying to bash Buddhism ideals or anything, I'm just saying when we want something, it's motivation to make moves and get it! That kinda ties into the whole topic of ambition. I would define ambition as having larger then life-sized goals that are built for the long term. It's dreaming big and following through!

I've always had big dreams. Dreams of being a pro skater, owning a big ass house, making lots of money, having a family... Sometimes things happen that sidetrack you, or you go on little detours. Just don't forget what you really want.

Want and desire fuels our economy! You know how you can contribute to society? Make lots of money, then spend lots of money! It's a big circulatory system and if your a lazy turd, your causing our country constipation! I for one I love America! Barack Obama is really killin it right now.

But if you are not an ambitious individual, I'm not pushing you. There's no need for you to contribute. There are plenty of awesome people that are ready and willing to step on you to reach their goals.

Oh and did I mention girls find ambitious guys sexy? The more mature ones anyway. Just listen to Kanye West's 'Gold digger'.

So I salute the ambitious! Thank you for all the apple products, next level skate maneuvers, awesome movies, delicious gourmet foods and whatever is in store for the future!

It's never too late! You know that saying "today's the first day of the rest of your life"? Well it's fuckin true, but only if you make it happens for yourself. Make a to do list full of stuff you want to do today, tomorrow, a year from now, whatever! The first step is knowing what you want out of life.

Where all in this together, the successful aren't necessarily laughing at you atop their high chair, matter of fact I'm sure they'd love for us to join! Let the successful inspire you! Stop being a damn hater! Why are you spending so much time hating anyway?

Rules of Partying(how lame)

How lame is it to have rules for partying?!? yeah, nearly as lame as AIDS! That's fuckin lame, lame like a biscuit in rain. Pay attention moron! This is important! I know you like to party your life away and wake up at 2 in the afternoon, i see you playa.

Listen meat head. when you get into a tight Situation, I won't say I told you so. matter of fact, fuck you! like you matter...

Rules of the party

1. Never take anything too personal. Whether it's some girl blowing u
off or some drunk guy picking a fight. Just brush it off.

2. Rules are meant to be broken.

3. Don't go for chicks with boyfriends. (though keep the first 2 rules in mind.)

4. Always take care of a friend.

5. Use a condom(your dick is gross).

6. Drink lots of water through out the night.

7. Make sure nothing is left behind. (Wallet, phone, keys, iPod,
Clothing, bag etc)

8. Don't start a fight or be rude to cops or authority (though backflips off squad cars are funny in retrospect.)

9. Avoid broken glass and hurting yourself. Your gonna regret it in the morning.

10. Make sure your free the next day or have time to deal with a
Potential hangover.

11. Never have liquor after beer.

12. It's NOT okay to just let the chick deal with the baby.

I realize my demographic doesn't really reach juicehead guido, so, fuck them. If you're heading down to the shore, fuck you Snookie! JK. I loves that show, I'm secretly/now openly jealous of their hair gel usin', fist pumpin', grenade smooshin', super-extra/ballerific lifestyle. GTL(GYM/TAN/Laundry) Bitchioso!!!
Jon<3

Re-Runs

Before I started this blog I would write these little facebook blurbs/notes. So in case you missed it, I present to you, a selection of what I would consider the better of my philosophical Vomit.

enjoy.

love, the kind you fall in. (part 1)

A topic that's on my mind... Almost all the time. Yeah, really. When I see people in love, it makes me happy. What's so fascinating about love? What happens
when you take it for granted?
I was in love once, just once. All the other times, I just wasn't even beginning to be open to the possibility. Now that's a key word, possibility, chance, luck. Stars have to be aligned, you might not know it now, but it doesn't just happened.
I don't mean to dwell in the past, but there was a time that I felt complete. I felt complete but it felt too soon. It felt to soon to be so content with a situation. I don't regret it now, however I do apologize for being so vague. See, it's a touchy topic for me. For a time, I put on a fake smile, told you everything was fine, but I wasn't.
Of coarse everything is okay now. Have you ever asked yourself, "if I could change the past, would I?" then arrive at the conclusion "well, if I did this instead of that, then I wouldn't know what I know now." at that moment I think what we have done is found appreciation for we're we stand.
When it was over,(this nearly 2 year relationship), I was devastated. I was, as cliche as it was, in bed most of the day listening to dashboard. I didn't want anyone knowing this, I was weak and insecure. I was uncomfortable with who I was as an individual.
Time went on and I learned to be smarter, learned to be stronger. I learned that if I wanted to love someone, I first had to learn to love myself. So that's where I am now, taking in the single life. I must say it's overrated underrated. Some times it's like, yeah! Free to do whatever. But loneliness strikes and I'm like, crap, I wish there was some to talk to, make me laugh, cuddle etc. But really, who is unfamiliar with this.
Now, it's been a million years since the worst heartbreak of my life! Jeez. Anyway, life goes on. I don't monitor her, although I do get a sorta immature hateful vibe from her. It's behind me now. As much as I don't want to admit it we can fall in love again. I have yet to prove this to myself but the evidence is overwhelming.
I could lie and say something like... I'm gonna just focus on the new semester at school and not even bother with girls. although my sights are set on my personal success I will always keep a clear peripheral on love.

love, the kind you fall into (part 1.5)

The Internet will lead you to believe almost anything. I was reading up on this forum that was all about how you don't need any game, could be wak as fuck and still get beautiful women. The general approach was really to mind fuck these chicks into submission with your back handed compliments and have them eating out of the palm of your hands.

That's all fine and dandy but from what I know, that's not what you would call a "healthy" relationship. What happened to chivalry? Leave that sort of pandering to the boys.

So iv been keeping up with this blog lately and it's really funny and insightful. It's called Imboycrazy.com. The blogger girl, Alexi Wasser, aka boycrazy offers perspectives from a woman's stand point and not only addresses woman but men too.

The thing is, theirs not short cut to a great relationship. If you have to pull all these Jedi mind trick to get a girl, Odds are she's not all right in the head or has daddy issues. And if she is all there, she's gonna quickly call you out for the lying prick weakling you are.

The best thing to do fellas, is just step up your game. Beautiful intelligent girls have their pick, and if you haven't stepped up your game, you re not even in the running. It's 2010, perfect time to change up the old routine.

We gotta realize, everybody wants the best for themselves. You could spot a crazy bitch can't you? What makes you think a women can't spot a scrub. So this new years, let's lay off the cheesy pick up lines and comments that eat at a women's confidence. Confidence is sexy, don't you want a chick that rules at life and is just as awesome as you?

May the best man win. Here's to the new year!

an open letter to Zooey Deschanel.

Dear ms. Zooey Deschanel,

This is my facebook profile. As microscopic as it is in the grand scheme, consider this a token to my affection to you. On the off chance that I may ever meet you and talk to you I believe that there is a great chance that you will fall for me, an Idea that I am very open too.

From what I have gathered, you are no longer available. However, it would be a shame if I would not be able to express my admiration for your beauty and charm. I've whole heartedly enjoyed your contributions to the film industry and was thrilled by your short lived appearance on "weeds". You are the essence of indie and I don't mean for you to take this in the wrong way what so ever.

When I first heard your music(she and him) I must confessed that I was not initially thrilled. However I quickly learned that it was an acquired taste and quickly I fell in love with your soulful vocals.

I don't mean to come on strong, though I do find you unbelievably attractive. The way your dark hair accents the milkiness of your skin drives me wild. Your a total babe! Your sarcastic intelligence is something I find incredibly sexy and feel would complement my persona perfectly. We would get along famously.

I am not certain as to weather you even like Asian boys like myself, although I would have to guarantee that I am like non other. I am not shy, I am not afraid to be who I am or dress the way I want. I will acknowledge my flaws and look ahead to a time when I'm am a better me. And if we were to date, I promise to be chivalrous and kind. If you are sad, I will do all that is within my power to make you smile. Together we would be on top of the world. I could be your tall/Asian/hipster boyfriend and you could be my white/indie queen/princess girlfriend.

you are truly a goddess. On the off chance that you may actually appreciate my sweet gestures and off beat remarks, I think we could be really happy together. If you were ever tired after a long day of recording or acting I would gladly be the shoulder you rest your head on. I would then look into your engulfing blue eyes and let you know how much I cared about you. I will write you a letter when I could simply text. I will bring you flowers on no occasion at all, because being in your presence is enough reward for me.

For you, I would be a great listener. I will cling to every detail as if my happiness depended on it. I will gladly sit and watch any movie with you as many times as you want. If we were planning on going out and you all of a sudden decided you wanted to stay in I wouldn't mind the slightest bit. I would take vegan cooking classes if that's what you'd like. I say that only because I'm under the impression that you enjoy healthy organic cuisine as do most sexy intelligent woman like yourself. However if you want a burger and fries, that's fine too ;)

Consider this to be the first of many proclamations of my love for you. Though if you are not at this point feeling unbelievably drawn to me, I am prepared to accept this. Perhaps a goddess such as yourself is far too holy for a Asian skaterboy dirtbag like myself, but that's okay. This is just how I feel, I wish everyone could be so honest with their feelings... That's life.

Love, jonn

Aka - ya manz?