I am so on point.

I'm really rather sharp as a tack as of late. On Sunday I hit up one of my fave spots-AKA TARGET, with my momz and picked up some essentials. If you don't own one already, I Urge you to go pick up an electric tooth brush! You have not known clean till you have owned and oral-B vitality! And I swear I wasn't payed to write that-it's that compelling!

I also got my hands on some new facial wash that i'm excited about. I had a great time exploring hair product as well. I picked up some hair spray that promises to make me hot or something-we'll see how that turns out. My scalpes been flakin a little-got that head & shoulders, no big D. Um what else did I get? Oo yeah! Fresh pack of fruit of the loom boxer breifs-extra tight/just how I like-holla!

That's what I love about target, you can totally be shopping for a million things all at once. It's like the hip fashionable K-mart. No doubt Target is the shit!

I'm just feelin good right now! Like I'm ready for anything. Earlier today I finished a project for school that I was particularly proud of. It's 4 am right now and I've got a big presentation to do on it tommorrow, what's wrong with me! I was gonna go to bed but then my dad got me an early birthday present and that Kept me up for a few hours. He got me one of those speakers/radio/iPod dock/player/music things. I fucking love it, it's the best! I have the best dad ever foreal-I'm his best friends. Which reminds me, he wants me to Make him a face book account-how cute is that?!?!

So anywayz, I get this great new present and it's so awesome looking, it brings my attention to what a mess my room has become! This new device had inspired me to make my room clean/neat and organized. I'm so excited now, all my clothes are neatly folder and sorted. I hope I can keep it this way, I definently prefer a clean living space.

I feel happy and confident and ready for whatever the world has to throw at me. Shouldn't we all get to feel this way always?

The huge dick you never had.

[Your inner Tyler Durden will thank you]

Jesus Christ! Can I stress it anymore? Confidence is everything! I know you've heard it enough times and may think it's too vague to even help you-but get off your ass and do some research. Confidence is a key components that make the great freaking amazing.

Is this a rant? Yes!

Guys. You need to find your inner confidence. When you're sulking in the corner cause you think your penis is small or something-everyone can sense this-as if you where letting off your our fragrance of "cock block". Girls know when you are comfortable and confident-it's primal.

When you have the courage to be who you want to be-all those around you will respect you. You will be straight forward, call it like it is, be funny, make girls wet etc. I'm serious! And not just making all this up-I promise.

When you are ultimate/boss, smart intelligent things will fountain from you're mouth. You will look your best(always) and not let anyone rain on your parade! You will make all those around you happy and lucky to know you, never be awkward and get invited to awesome parties where you will meet awesome people worthy of your presence.

Carry this further into the bedroom and well you will arrive-only after her.

If you can have this all figured out-your life will be a load easier. By no means am I suggesting my own mastery of this art-however I would wonder how Napoleon would of conquered Europe without this element. So friend-ponder this as you admire jealously in private to the lady killers and conquerors a like.

Goodday

PS. that fine line between confidence and kanye west. That could be A rant for another day. This one goes out to all the herbs!

Just My Type: Dylan Rieder

Better late then never! Without further blabbering, this is Dylan Rieder!



So a couple weeks back there was a Gravis demo at KCDC. I knew I NEEDED to be there since the Illusive Dylan rieder would show. So when I finally got to see him for the second time... It was alright... yeah(fucking)right! I fucking melted! Me and every women withing a 5 mile radius!

Besides being da domb pro skater, hes also a total style icon. Pioneering the male "tunic" or whatever you want to call it, Dylan seriously pushes the limits of fashion. I would describe his fashion sense as Taylor swift meets GQ. not getting a sense of what that is? thats Dylan, a totally unique style-on and off his board.

Ps.
Its been hectic, more posts soon!

Wanted : Gay Bestfriend(part 2)

So. Not just anyone can be my gay best friend, there are certain criteria he must fill.If anyone is interested in applying, I would be happy to set up a (non-romantic) coffee date.

So these are big shoes to fill, first off, I want to make it clear I am looking for a gay friend, not lover. I don't mind flirting, I see it as flattery. Whatever you do, don't ever try to kiss me! Like that gross scene in "I love you man", after he goes on that man-date-dinner, ugh gross. Not that 2 men kissing is gross, just I wouldn't want to kiss a guy.

So now that we got that out of the way, we can move on to things that are just more my preference. I enjoy chatting over coffee, so if you like coffee that's a plus. It is important that you are able to provide me with plenty of incite on women. Most importantly we gotta click and enjoy eachother! Duh.

This isn't a must, but it would be cool if the guy was Latino. I am of course an equal opportunity friender. Though I was just considering my lack of gay friends, then remembered my lack of Latino friends as well and thought, let's kill 2 birds with 1 stone if we can!

Nabi got his

It would be rad if I could be set up on blind dates with your many gal pals. Have someone to pump me up on life. Give me the confidence to ask out girls and make power moves!

And of course this friendship will not be all about me. I'll be there for you too! If you're having guy problems, I'm there for you man. I'm a great listener and very open minded. I might even go with you to gay clubs!

getting down at the gay club.

If all this sounds super/mega/unbeleivably awesome! Then tell you what, you can contact me through this blog.

FIT Cafeteria

This place is a total mindfuck/creative gold mind for me! I've been eating lunch and typing thoughts out on my phone for an hour now! Magical, seriously!

It's something about the cash-flow of gorgous girls, starbucks and awesome food that just makes here my little gold mind of awesome(by my standard) blog entries!

Before I dive into what I really like to write about, GIRLs! I have to give an honorable mention to the FIT cafeteria staff. Sushi, pizza, new and different entrees, grilled food, everything! I don't know how they do it. Even now when I drop by to grab a bite I am startled by the selection to the point where I just end up getting a boring salad. This has been the case the past two days.

So yeah, what else is there to say? The selection of honeys is choice, I look forward to meeting all of em and getting a chance to blog it up somemore!

I'm just having the most fantastic time here! If you ever want to catch me and just say hi/give me a hug/grab my number, idunno. You can find me in the caf! Most likely creeping while eating my freshly prepared spicy salmon role! (one of my faves). I'm really friendly and promise to not make you feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable. So don't be a stranger' love!

My Friends are sick!

I have fans!

This fuckin tool bag over here is our fan of the week. Hunter over here is from some Midwest/who gives a fuck state. He IM'd me one day randomly, to let me know what an overnight Internet celebrity I have become. Thanks buddy, do you by any chance have a sexy mother in need of anal?

enjoy left to right

tight with geoff

Good Mood!

I'm in a really good mood! although I've found the more interesting Blog posts have been when I was upset about something, I think this ones a good one!

I just took a shower and i feel amazing! I scrubbed and scrubbed every inch of myself. being well groomed is always a nice feeling. If your ever in a bad mood, a Showers always gna pick you up ever so slightly. I'm not advocating that it's gonna save your life, but If your stinky, It might get you more friends!

On top of all this, I also shaved my package! it's been a minute, it was starting too look like a 40 year old Serbian down there. Ha! I honestly don't know where women stand on male pubic hair, but personally i like to keep it trim, about a centimeter is good. Every guy should do this! you will(as I did) fall in love with your penis all over again! Enough to blog about it!

I cant stress the importance of loving yourself. The love I have for myself is bordering Narcissism, which can be bad, but i feels so good...

This is my list of things that will always pick You/me up! :

1. walking around Target.
2. Jersey shore, The OC, sex and the city, SEINFELD

3. SEINFELD

4. write out your feelings

5. blog about your penis/vagina

6. take a Bubble bath.(showers are almost as good)

7. eat jello

8. Try on all your clothes, you'll really get a kick if you rediscover something old!

9. chill with an animal(they're just so accepting)

10. play gay 90s music and rock out to it in private!

General theme here? do shit your not gonna fail at. Save the challenges of your crazy life for when your on point! Sharp, ready, focused! I am so ready for life!

did I mention Tuesday I have class from 9:10 am to 9:10 pm? Bring it on.

A tribute to the Ambitious!

There's new stuff coming out everyday. Have you guys seen that new apple Ipad? That thing is effing insane! It's nuts what humans are capable of, the ones with ambition anyway.

So I wouldn't mind having an Ipad of my own, shit, I'll even say it, I want one! I've been told that want and desire is the cause of unhappiness and to not be so materialistic. Well that's a bit of a cop out isn't it? Especially coming from a guy with no job, who’s a lazy coach potato. Why are you trying to keep me down?

pothead tryna hold me down!

Now I'm not trying to bash Buddhism ideals or anything, I'm just saying when we want something, it's motivation to make moves and get it! That kinda ties into the whole topic of ambition. I would define ambition as having larger then life-sized goals that are built for the long term. It's dreaming big and following through!

I've always had big dreams. Dreams of being a pro skater, owning a big ass house, making lots of money, having a family... Sometimes things happen that sidetrack you, or you go on little detours. Just don't forget what you really want.

Want and desire fuels our economy! You know how you can contribute to society? Make lots of money, then spend lots of money! It's a big circulatory system and if your a lazy turd, your causing our country constipation! I for one I love America! Barack Obama is really killin it right now.

But if you are not an ambitious individual, I'm not pushing you. There's no need for you to contribute. There are plenty of awesome people that are ready and willing to step on you to reach their goals.

Oh and did I mention girls find ambitious guys sexy? The more mature ones anyway. Just listen to Kanye West's 'Gold digger'.

So I salute the ambitious! Thank you for all the apple products, next level skate maneuvers, awesome movies, delicious gourmet foods and whatever is in store for the future!

It's never too late! You know that saying "today's the first day of the rest of your life"? Well it's fuckin true, but only if you make it happens for yourself. Make a to do list full of stuff you want to do today, tomorrow, a year from now, whatever! The first step is knowing what you want out of life.

Where all in this together, the successful aren't necessarily laughing at you atop their high chair, matter of fact I'm sure they'd love for us to join! Let the successful inspire you! Stop being a damn hater! Why are you spending so much time hating anyway?

Rules of Partying(how lame)

How lame is it to have rules for partying?!? yeah, nearly as lame as AIDS! That's fuckin lame, lame like a biscuit in rain. Pay attention moron! This is important! I know you like to party your life away and wake up at 2 in the afternoon, i see you playa.

Listen meat head. when you get into a tight Situation, I won't say I told you so. matter of fact, fuck you! like you matter...

Rules of the party

1. Never take anything too personal. Whether it's some girl blowing u
off or some drunk guy picking a fight. Just brush it off.

2. Rules are meant to be broken.

3. Don't go for chicks with boyfriends. (though keep the first 2 rules in mind.)

4. Always take care of a friend.

5. Use a condom(your dick is gross).

6. Drink lots of water through out the night.

7. Make sure nothing is left behind. (Wallet, phone, keys, iPod,
Clothing, bag etc)

8. Don't start a fight or be rude to cops or authority (though backflips off squad cars are funny in retrospect.)

9. Avoid broken glass and hurting yourself. Your gonna regret it in the morning.

10. Make sure your free the next day or have time to deal with a
Potential hangover.

11. Never have liquor after beer.

12. It's NOT okay to just let the chick deal with the baby.

I realize my demographic doesn't really reach juicehead guido, so, fuck them. If you're heading down to the shore, fuck you Snookie! JK. I loves that show, I'm secretly/now openly jealous of their hair gel usin', fist pumpin', grenade smooshin', super-extra/ballerific lifestyle. GTL(GYM/TAN/Laundry) Bitchioso!!!
Jon<3

Gay BFF(part 1)

Behind every great man, is a gay man

Yes, i just said that. while conferencing with my super awesome/sexy/ultra hot friend magic I came across a ground breaking discovery. Magic is a straight guy, a gorgeous one might I add, and one evening as he was elaborating of his Sexual escapades he revealed to me, the secret of his success.

"theres a gay dood javier in toy hes my bff now and he helped me a lot and helped me with my ex and pumped me up for the world"

As this information was revealed to me, I was Blown away. To be honest, I don't have any gay friends, real ones anyway. Only the sort i met in passing during high school. I know I act sorta gay sometimes, dress gay, do/say gay shit, but I'm actually pretty hetero. Now that i think back, I did have gay friends, I must have been too much of a Homophobic Prick to let get close.

I can't thank Magic enough for what i now know. When we last spoke, the guy was practically glowing. his penis power was outta control! I was a little overwhelmed I'm not gonna kid you.

Nowright now I might be coming off a tad Hypocritical but

A. life is Hypocritical-and

B. Magic is not a womanizer/manwhore/penis giver(beleive me I've tried)(I'm JK'ing)(I swear!).
Seriously I know magic to be a kind/sweet/genuine guy. You would never guess it now but he's actually more a Michael Cera type. Have you guys seen nick and Nora's infinite playlist? Come to think of it, He had gay friends in that movie! And got the Girl!

So my point here is this, If you're a girl, and Magic has had his weiner/penis/shlong anywhere in, on or around you, you're a luck girl.

God bless you Magic!