social (dick) climbers.

Attacking the feeble, talentless, short-cut-taking, rim-job-givers of our generation. Something that's been on my to-do list for a while now. Allow me to open with a little story.

Not too long ago, last week even maybe, I went to a party. This was a kinda crazy night. It started around 6 when I got out of class, it was a Friday. I had been invited to a fancy dinner and was wearing a suit. That night also happened to be my sisters birthday, so after the dinner party ended I went with my siblings and company to a bar in the city. I got in using my brothers old ID. Boy that was rad.

So as the night progressed I had a good amount of alcohol in my system. Much more then is safe to drive with. So after spending some time in this bar I decide to leave to head to a friend's house party that I had previously agreed to attend. Normally I would be over it but I wanted to make an appearance for the sake of getting to know some of my newer friends at FIT.

So my brother gives me a ride to my friends apartment where the party is happening. Upon entering I am greeting with great enthusiasm, like I just performed a miracle or something. "Every jonns here!", I am really drunk at this point and all I could think to do is match the hype. I make my round giving high fives and hugs to everyone I knew. I was really excited and at that point really glad I came!

So I'm just hangin around for a while introducing myself to people I had yet to meet. For a moment there is a break in company and a young lady makes her way in front of me. I'm paraphrasing but she basically says; I noticed everybody was really excited when you came in, I like your suit, we must be friends! I thought she was nice but at the same time was received in a very artificial/superficial way. Clearly she saw my huge social dick and wished to climb it as if some sorta bean stalk leading her to a better tommorrow. Sorry, not this life time.

We made small talk for a minute and discussed school. We both went to FIT and If I remember correctly she was a fashion design major. I would imagine social climbing is encouraged in such a field, perhaps even taught as a curriculum. I guess what stood out to me about this particular encounter was how blatant here social climbing approach was.

I mean, we all do it, some of us even make a grand career out of social climbing. Take Cory Kennedy(not the skater) for example. She had to suck that gross Cobra Snake dude's cobra snake. If you don't know what I'm talking about, once again, do your pop culture research.

So the issue here that I'm addressing is really that, sometimes when we social climb, we lose sight of our self worth. And others who find themselves constantly at parties "making connections" end up just being worthless all together. Who wants to stay connected to a useless loser whose only "talent" is uploading pictures of parties to his/her Tumblr?